As I was writing last week’s column about my thoughts ahead of the Norwich Half Marathon, I thought to myself: ‘You don’t sound up for this’. 

I tried to push against some of the negative thoughts that inevitably crop up in all of us that try to keep us safe. 

But sometimes it’s worth acknowledging that they’re there for good reason. 

On this occasion, I didn’t. 

‘It’s good content for the column, Mark’. 

‘It always feels different when you’re in a race environment’. 

‘It will be a good benchmark ahead of next year’. 

Just some of the mind games I was playing with myself on Sunday morning. But even as I was walking to the start line, the wind howling, it crossed my mind just to go home. 

I wish I had.  

It proved a very tough day at the office and a race too far this year. I was about to be reminded that you can’t bluff your way through running a half marathon hard. 

Physically I feel in decent shape but mentally I wasn’t prepared to tackle what is a tough course in very difficult conditions. 

I was really pleased the event enjoyed a minute’s applause on the start line for Mike Wilkinson, who sadly died recently. I didn’t know him personally, but Neil Featherby has told me a lot about him and anyone that can influence Neil has my utmost respect. 

As we set off, I was positioned about 20 metres behind the 1:30 pacer. My tactic was going to be to forget about my watch and keep those pacers in sight for the opening miles. 

However, from the very first mile, it was feeling difficult and I couldn’t get my breathing to settle. 

As we headed out on to the road out of the Showground the 1:30 pacer was already edging away. I was running the sort of pace that I know is well within my capabilities early on in a half marathon – but it just didn’t feel right. 

More and more runners were starting to ease past me as the miles ticked by and that pacer was edging further and further ahead. 

I took an energy gel on board to try and inject a bit of pace to kickstart my race. It worked for about a mile and a half before there was a particularly difficult stretch into the wind at the six-mile point. 

There was then a hill in the eighth mile that pretty much ended my race. 

It’s the kind of short sharp hill when it crosses your mind whether it would be quicker to power walk up it rather than ‘run’. 

But I knew I couldn’t give myself permission to walk – there were still five miles to go and I wanted this over as quickly as possible. 

As I recovered from the hill, mentally, I completely checked out the race. 

I told myself just to bank the miles and not to make things more difficult for myself by pushing. Any thoughts about going under 1:30 had long gone and the rest of the race is a bit of a blur. 

I vaguely remember telling myself to keep things as comfortable as possible in the 12th mile up a drag before re-entering the Showground and wondering when this damn race will end. 

Finally, the finish line came. I was delighted some of my Wymondham AC club-mates had such strong runs in difficult circumstances, but I just wanted to get out of there. 

I had no appetite to pore over what had been a pretty miserable effort (it also had the added bonus of avoiding the car park carnage that a lot of runners got caught up in trying to exit the Showground). 

I felt sorry for myself for a couple of hours, rang my wife to have a moan (sorry Ally), and then managed to think a bit more rationally about things. 

I know that I’m faster than the 1:36-something that I posted but talk is cheap, and I’ll hopefully show that in the future. 

However, now isn’t the time to do that. It’s been a fun 2024 running wise but I’ve asked a lot of myself and perhaps it’s time just to ease back for a while. 

This is all a hobby, and I have to remind myself of that sometimes. It’s important not to wrap my self-esteem too much into how the running is going. It puts too much pressure on it. 

For the time being at least I want to run with friends and events that excite me.  

Preferably ones that don’t feature 50mph winds.