Headlines have seen a common theme this week.
Teenagers ranting at teachers, storming out of school and picking and choosing when to go to class are symptoms of a fractured family-school contract, according to outgoing Ofsted head Amanda Spielman.
Meanwhile, dear kindly Fred Sirieix from First Dates was floored in the Australian jungle, accused of “disrespecting” You Tuber Nella Rose.
Raging, she labelled him a “weirdo,” told him never speak to her again, accused of trying to “little girl” her in an irrational over-reaction and misinterpretation of an innocent comment he made, saying that, at 51, he was old enough to be her father.
Both point to the increasing levels of offence taken by under-30s, their interpretation of “disrespect” by older people leading to disproportionate reactions and situations where the red mist comes down and they are rude.
They must win.
No amount of apology that no offence was meant is enough.
Teachers watching Nella Rose’s entitled ranting on ITV’s I’m A Celebrity must have felt like being at work.
Teacher friends tell me about how negotiating classes of teens is like walking on eggshells, a game of Russian Roulette, waiting for one to fire off and take offence to something said, looking to take the huff.
Their days are full of challenged, being called out and refusing to listen, negotiate or accept apologies.
As if teaching isn’t exhausting enough, there is no room for innocent mistakes, no tolerance for a slip of the tongue or terminology.
It’s the same in the workplace.
It reminds me of the experienced teacher who said she was managed out of her job after entering a class after lunch at a girls’ school and uttered automatically, as she had done for years.
“Afternoon, girls.” In the class were individuals who had changed their pronouns. She said an honest mistake when she was on autopilot cost her job because of the outrage of the Year 7 students, 11 and 12 years olds.
Everyone deserves to be addressed how they want to be addressed but there’s a big gap between mistake and malice. Have we lost this distinction and must now live with the one strike and you’re out attitude, whatever the intention?
On this, the outgoing Ofsted boss says there is an urgent need for government guidance on questions that are “too complex for overburdened heads” leaving them in the firing line and schools “tying themselves in knots”.
“Increasingly things like relationships and sex education and trans guidance — there are many things where it’s now obvious that they’re just too difficult for every individual head to negotiate the complexities.
More central guidance help schools is needed, she said. Absolutely – it’s long overdue.
The young have long accused the older of intolerance, justified in many cases.
We’ve seen an about turn with the closed minds and ears now among the under-35s, which will not serve them well for the future.
Is new legislation needed?
No one can imagine the hell the families of the four sixth formers found dead in an overturned car in Wales are feeling.
Your children being driven by inexperienced young drivers is always one of the real worries of parenthood.
It’s not about recklessness, it’s about inexperience. Negotiating tricky situations on the road is hard enough with years of experience. For young drivers, experience can literally mean the difference between life and death.
I’m all for restrictions on new drivers under the age of 25 carrying young passengers in their vehicle in a graduated driving licence scheme.
Road safety charity Brake say drivers of that age are four times more likely to be involved in a fatal crash if they are driving with others.
New drivers shouldn’t be allowed to carry passengers for the first year.
Government statistics show as many as a quarter of new drivers are involved in accidents in their first two years on the road.
Anything that could prevent another tragedy like this must be explored and implemented urgently.
Vital communication skills
I knew it. Chatty pregnant women boost their unborn babies’ language skills.
It’s in the science with the strongest evidence yet that a foetus is listening and learning from within the womb in the final weeks before birth.
Throughout my pregnancy with my first born, he grew listening to the daily hubbub of a daily newspaper news desk. Vocal from birth, he spoke early and is now a journalist.
Researchers from Italy and France found that “language exposure before birth may help newborns acquire language with ease” after birth, suggesting that it could also be helpful in the final trimester for pregnant women to speak directly to their baby bumps.
Talking to babies before birth and in those early months is vital. Other shoppers must have thought I was bonkers pouting out cucumbers and pineapple to my newborn during the weekly shop. But I swear it worked.
The benefits of chatting and eye contact with babies and young children is why I loathe outward facing pushchairs. They are so bad for babies’ communication and language skill. They need iteration, not staring at dog’s faces and people’s knees.
And its why parents need to put down their phones and chat, setting children up for life of good communication, one of the best skills they can have.
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